Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Feeling Catty Today?
Feeling catty today? Oh, I am; I definitely am.
It feels like one of those days where my "claws" are just a split second from being unsheathed (though I'm not dangerous, really!) One of those "don't you dare mess with me!" days.
Not that I'm in a bad mood. Not at all. I feel happy, connected, centered. It's just that my tolerance level for general B.S. is low. Living with a chronic illness and enjoying my sanity/groundedness translates into not having the energy to spare for things that make life more difficult. I don't want drama; I don't want judgement - and I don't want negative attitude! I triumphed over despair, fear and negativity last week and I want and need the space, and grace, to celebrate and enjoy the gifts that I've garnered.
I need those gifts to settle in to my soul and grow deep roots. If I nurture those gifts, feed those roots, then perhaps in time I won't feel the need for claws - symbolic or real - and protecting the wild, wonderful core of myself will be automatic and easy.
Befriending and healing my own pain, triggers and past is an on-going process that I'm extremely grateful for. But it IS an ongoing process; a constant learning and reaffirming - a practice. And I've finally arrived at the point where the practice is easier; where I shift more easily and where the gifts are greater than the grief. As I've always told my kids, practice makes perfect (or as close to it as we can get).
Having your claws on stand-by, feeling catty, doesn't make you a witch or a bitch. It means you've developed an awareness of, and willingness to protect, your boundaries. It means that you're learning to listen to the deepest, grandest part of yourself and to honor that. So...are you feeling catty today?